Ebay is a buyers' paradise. Over the years, every policy has been tweaked to be incredibly buyer friendly and, if something does go wrong, ebay claims and paypal disputes mean it's only a matter of time before you get your money back.
For sellers, it's a different story. The default assumption is always that you're in the wrong, a situation which means that, for most of us, ebay is an online swamp of last resort. The place we go when we're so strapped for cash we have had to resort to selling our personal possessions to strangers over the internet.
Because so many buyers are a gigantic pain in the backside.
This week I had a claim opened against me when an item hadn't arrived after 7 days, including a Sunday and a Bank Holiday. I sent them a message back stating I'd be happy to refund if it still hadn't arrived by the end of the claim period but, chances are, they were jumping the gun slightly. She wasn't, she replied. Two other items bought at the same time had already arrived, and where was it already??? I'm not particularly proud of what happened next. I've spent my whole life damping down my instinctive reaction to everything, waiting and reconsidering, and generally reigning in my temper.
Not that day. I fired off an incredibly passive aggressive:
"No problem, apologies it wasn't quick enough for you. I've blocked you from future auctions now so we won't have to deal with each other again. :) Kind regards."
For once, I don't particularly care.
Instead, I'm going to compound it with a run down of the ten worst types of ebay buyer, liberally garnished with anecdotes from my own experience of 10+ years of selling on the site.
#10. The "I Want It Now!" Buyer
#9. The Chancer
#8. The Perfectionist
#7. The Newbie
#6. The Non-Payer
#5. The "20 Questions" Buyer
#4. The "I didn't read the description" Buyer
#3. The "I don't like it" Buyer
#2. The "Wounded Pride" Buyer
#1. The Perfect Buyer
They read the listing, paid promptly, messaged you first about any problems, and left feedback without being prompted. They're wonderful, marvelous, you couldn't ask for anything more.
The only problem? They make you wish all buyers could be just like them!
If you have had the misfortune to encounter an annoying buyer, check out my guide on how to block individual ebay users.