Top Seven Worst Things About Being An Adult

In honour of Anthony turning 27 yesterday, and the imminent arrival of my own 27th birthday, here are my top seven worst things about being a grown up...

The plus is not having this haircut.

Or, you know, nagging Anthony to take the bin out. Either way, it's heavy, it smells bad, and, as Ben Elton once observed, you have to get through all the surrounding 'satellite' carrier bags before you can even reach the mother ship...


Not wholly unrelated, but different enough to count as its own separate category of hell. Some cleaning tasks are strangely satisfying, most are simply disgusting. I even worked as a cleaner for years but there's a big difference between cleaning your own toilet and cleaning someone else's. Namely, the latter is something you get paid for...

Me and Rhys,

The only thing you have to remember as a kid is to wash your hands and do your homework. But once you become an adult you have to remember every significant date, ever, and then you make the mistake of hooking up with someone else and then you have to remember every significant date they have too. To cope with it you buy a paper diary, preferably with a little pen attached, and wait for the inevitable rain storm / water bottle / sippy cup to render all your hard work completely worthless.



Before you have to actually live as a grown up and you see a pair of 100% accurate replica hand crafted Freddy gloves, you can just cancel your Netflix subscription and live on Smart Price baked beans for six months. Children apparently need a more varied diet. Who knew?

Anthony and Georgia.

The thing I never understand about the people on shows like Grand Designs is the all encompassing desire they have to 'bring the outside in'. The reason people invented houses is to keep the outside out. Full of dirt, and things which sting, bite, and otherwise want to discomfort you, the outside kind of sucks. It doesn't even have the decency to not bother you if you just leave it alone. Instead it grows wild and makes all your neighbours silently judge your unkempt hedge. No matter how sophisticated the human race becomes, gardening will ensure we are forever enslaved to the whims of Mother Nature.


It might seem like only yesterday but, really, it was decades ago. The technology you grew up with is obsolete, and the music you listened to has been relegated to Radio 2.

They don't do anything like they used to - and nobody younger than you gives a damn...