In spite of best intentions I've been drifting back to Twitter this week... I spent a few hours reading stuff on the #reclaimthenight stuff and did a blog post about how you just accept you've got to live with the fear but, basically, now I've got a kid I'm not content to just tell them 'be constantly alert, someone might want to kill you'. Because it feels like the whole discourse is just more bullshit about how can 'good guys' protect little ol' women.
I don't need a guy to cross the road or sit the other side or whatever.
I just need them to pass by or sit there without spouting weird inappropriate comments or attempting to assault me.
It's all I ask of anyone to be honest. Because why does anyone think it's okay to shout out abuse in the street, or to touch someone without permission? Like, what are we doing wrong as a society that we can't get this basic message across?
If it happened less frequently, the fear of it happening can't help but reduce. (The Daily Mail, naturally, rolled out police stats to tell everyone they had no idea what they were talking about... Who would report teenagers shouting comments at them at the bus stop or a creepy stranger standing too close or whatever? But it happens every single day and so the cycle continues.)
Some of the stuff I've read is just super dismissive of it all on the grounds that everyone fears getting mugged, attacked, etc. But there's levels of it. If you look like you can handle yourself, if you 'fit in', you get to live an entirely different life. It made me think about the most basic stuff, like running out of milk or bread and walking to the shop after dark. I never would because it would 'be asking for trouble'. Yet for Anthony it's something he wouldn't give a second thought to. That's the kind of thing it boils down to.
The blame lies with the bully not the victim, and that's also where you've got to focus the prevention work. Stamp it out young instead of writing it off as a bit of fun. :/
(And definitely don't engineer the kind of epic PR disaster the Met was in charge of last night!)
In other news, Marianna has been off school with her cold and I've been attempting to ebay what feels like the entire contents of the spare room. I blogged about JLS dolls, my top ten hits of 1997, Welsh UFO sightings of 1971, and scanned the 1988 Sindy annual. My only real achievement this week was completing my deco frame for the bedroom. I got lost down a rabbit hole of pretty fairy kei designs on Pinterest and was all wistful about how I'm too old for that kind of thing now.
Then I decided, actually, you're never too old! If I want some fairy kei in my life I can have some. So a few hours, a roll of cloud wallpaper, a pile of cabochons, and a lot of super glue later, this was the result: